Prompt Proofing Blog Post: How to Improve Your Writing: Part 3

    VANCOUVER, BC, April 21, 2011 /24-7PressRelease/ -- This is the third of a six-part series on improving your writing style. Whether you write for business or academic purposes, there are a few golden rules that will help you sharpen up your prose.

Part 3: Limit Use of the Passive Voice

Students beware! Many professors, particularly in the humanities, have a strong dislike of the passive voice and some go so far as to insist that all essays are written in active voice. In this writer's humble opinion, the passive voice definitely has a place, but it's a good idea to avoid overuse or inappropriate use.

When a sentence uses active voice it generally follows a traditional subject, verb, object pattern. The subject of the sentence is the action taker, carrying out some action on the object. e.g.:

The dog bit the man.

A passive sentence has the subject as the receiver of the action - the perpetrator of the action may be given or omitted. e.g.:

The man was bitten (by the dog).

Some people prefer passive voice for scientific reports as it removes the investigators from the equation and makes the writing seem more objective. Passive voice is also used to avoid blame or responsibility. However, the active voice is generally preferable as it is more clear and direct.

The active voice is preferable in any of the following situations:

Where using the passive voice avoids naming the subject, making the statement lack conviction:

Smoking is considered to be a leading cause of heart disease. (Passive)

Who considers it to be? Where is the proof? A report that makes a statement like this does not appear convincing.

Compare this sentence when the active voice is used:

A recent study, commissioned by the American Medical Association, has shown that smoking is a leading cause of heart disease. (Active)

Now, at least, we have a verifiable statement.

Where we want to establish the person(s) responsible for the action:

Compare:

Documents were leaked. (Passive)

with:

The Prime Minister's public relations officer leaked the document to the press. (Active)

The passive sentence avoids blame and is, therefore, very popular with politicians - think of Reagan's famous "Mistakes were made" quote!

Where we wish to place the stress on the perpetrator of the action:

Compare:

Germany invaded Poland in 1939, precipitating World War II. (Active)

with:

Poland was invaded by Germany in 1939, precipitating World War II. (Passive)

The active sentence infers aggression on the part of Germany, whereas the passive sentence may suggest passive capitulation on the part of Poland.

Where we wish to be simple and direct:

Several volunteers helped to distribute food to the homeless. (Active)

as opposed to:

Food was distributed to the homeless with the help of several volunteers. (Passive)

The second sentence is wordier and sounds clumsy.

Nevertheless, there are occasions when the passive voice is acceptable:

When you can't, or don't want to, identify the subject:

An old lady was beaten and robbed on Park St last night. (Passive)

In all likelihood, the police have yet to identify a perpetrator. To put this sentence into the active voice we would need to say:

An unknown assailant beat and robbed an old lady on Park St. last night. (Active)

When you want to emphasize the passivity, perhaps to avoid placing or admitting blame:

Documents have been leaked... (Passive)

When you want to place focus on what has happened to someone (or several someones):

Japan has been devastated by the recent earthquakes and tsunamis; thousands of people have lost their homes. (Passive)

The focus is now on Japan, and on the people whose homes have been destroyed, rather than on the cause of the destruction, therefore engendering the reader's sympathy.

In crime thrillers or mysteries:

The Colonel's body was lying on the carpet; he had been stabbed repeatedly. (Passive)

In this case, using the active voice would give away the murderer right at the beginning:

The colonel's son-in-law stabbed him repeatedly and left his body lying on the carpet. (Active)

Definitely better stick with the passive voice in this case!

As a general rule of thumb, ask yourself if there is a good and justifiable reason for using the passive voice in your writing; if so, fine but if not, then change the sentence to active!

Check back next Friday for another Prompt Proofing blog post!

About the Author

Pat Wootton is originally from England and is a former high school English teacher. Having spent many years in the Caribbean, where she raised her family, she now lives in Vancouver, BC. In addition, she has taught English as a Second Language (ESL) for several years after earning a diploma in Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL) from the University of British Columbia. She now owns and runs Prompt Proofing, a copy editing and writing service that caters to both individuals and businesses.

About Prompt Proofing

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